Episode 6 - Off-Limits Topics; Leaning Into Common Joys; Loving People to Life; JohnnySwim Music
Topic of Discussion
Today we discussed if it’s okay to have off-limits topics in a friendship.
Both Lueda and I agree that it’s 100 percent okay to have off-limits topics in a friendship. Being friends with people means loving them as the fullest expression of themselves, which means allowing for space for differences to be present. Off-limits topics doesn’t mean you’re not close; it means you’re willing to respect boundaries and that you value the friendship more deeply than your opinion on a topic.
It’s also important to have off-limits topics in friendships because for topics that have a lot of pressure or emotional charge around them, it’s likely that your friend is already being asked (or forced) into conversations about that topic. They don’t need you to be yet another person getting in their chili about it! This concept of having off-limits topics allows you, the friend, to hold space for your friend if they want to bring it up and if they don’t, to be a safe place where they can be themselves without having to dive into something they’re not ready or willing to talk about with another person.
It’s a gift to your friends to be able to be the space for your friend where they can talk about everything else, except for a topic they already feel pressured about. There is power in validating your friend in their choices and being a voice in their life that loves them no matter what. We live in a world where validation doesn’t always come readily or authentically. Be the person who validates your friend, makes them feel loved for who they are and how they want to show up in life!
What topics of conversation are off-limits in your friendships? Tell us at areyoutwostillfriends@gmail.com
Friendship Tip
In this episode, we discussed the friendship tip of leaning into what you both enjoy. For Lueda and I, that’s Chipotle; nachos; visiting breweries; watching, reading and discussing Harry Potter; going on vacations; laughter; and postcards! These are just a few things that Lueda and I have bonded over in our friendship and that we continue to return to time and again. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to stay close. Keep coming back to the things that make you both happy!
What kind of things do you bond over with your friends? Tell us at areyoutwostillfriends@gmail.com
What questions are we pondering this week?
Alexis: How can I love someone to life?
We often hear the phrase, “I love you to death.” But we don’t really think about how that can be a very possessive, circumstantial type of love. In my mind, it’s communicating that I will love you the way I want to love you (and that may change if you don’t do things that I deem loveable.) By loving someone to life, it allows us to step back from our needs and wants and to instead love others in a way that will allow them to live as the fullest expression of themselves. What a beautiful love! That’s the type of I want to receive and give!
I heard this question on Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast in the first episode...so don’t think I’m too deep here!
What content are we consuming this week?
Lueda: JohnnySwim music
This husband and wife duo sing about “cheesy love-stuff” and Lueda is loving getting back into their music. This music came back to her after a Spotify-iTunes throwback showed her what music she listened to most in 2019. Lueda highly recommends it and she thoroughly loves feeling uplifted by their music.
What’s something uplifting you’d like to share with others?
Alexis: Pocket Frogs
It’s a mindless, fun, free app where you can breed, collect and grow frogs in cute little habitats! The frogs have fun names, designs and colors and it’s a very simple interactive game that, for me, allows me to zone out a little and yet be engaged with problem-solving. It’s better than endlessly scrolling social media!
What’s something that’s sparked passion in you recently?
Lueda: Celebrating people you love
How do I celebrate the life of people while they’re still here? How do I celebrate the small acts and important things about the people that I love? This is what Lueda is thinking about in the midst of a recent loss in her family. She’s looking for ways to be more present and intentional with letting the people in her life she loves know that she loves them and that she wants to celebrate who they are! Lueda is going to work on sharing memories that make her happy and connected to her loved ones.
In friendship,
Alexis & Lueda
